Yavuz Alogan<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7ocukluk arkada\u015f\u0131m telefonda nostaljik ses tonuyla anlat\u0131yordu. Camlar\u0131 toplard\u0131k, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bize telden yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir araba verirlerdi. \u00c7ember \u00e7evirerek nas\u0131l da ko\u015ftururduk. Bilyelerimiz vard\u0131\u2026 \u015eimdiki \u00e7ocuklar yakan top, saklamba\u00e7, sek sek bilmezler\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bunlar\u0131n hepsini elbette hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Fakat bende en \u00e7ok yer eden d\u00f6rt \u015fey var: Goerig marka k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bisikletim, iri ye\u015fil kurba\u011falar, kitaplar ve karpit bombas\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hayalimde kendimi g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. Edirne\u2019de bisikletimi s\u0131rtlam\u0131\u015f lojman\u0131n merdivenlerinden sessizce bah\u00e7eye iniyorum. Paris\u2019te ya\u015fayan zengin bir Musevi taraf\u0131ndan 1905 y\u0131l\u0131nda yapt\u0131r\u0131l\u0131p Edirne Musevi Cemaati\u2019ne hediye edildi\u011fini, 1939\u2019a kadar Musevi (Alyan) Okulu olarak kullan\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, 1940\u2019da cemaat taraf\u0131ndan hastane olarak T\u00fcrk Ordusu\u2019na, 1944\u2019te ise okul olarak Maarif M\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc\u2019ne devredildi\u011fini \u00e7ok uzun y\u0131llar sonra \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim Emin Ak\u0131nc\u0131 \u0130lkokulu\u2019nun as\u0131rl\u0131k a\u011fa\u00e7larla g\u00f6lgeli avlusunda pedal basarak bir tur att\u0131ktan sonra Arnavut kald\u0131r\u0131ml\u0131 sokaktan tenteli \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131 boyunca giderek ana caddeye \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yorum, Ayvazo\u011flu sinemas\u0131n\u0131n afi\u015flerine g\u00f6z atarak h\u0131zlan\u0131yor, hayat\u0131mda ilk ve son kez dara\u011fac\u0131nda sallanan as\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir adam g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm H\u00fck\u00fcmet Kona\u011f\u0131\u2019n\u0131n avlusunda as\u0131lm\u0131\u015f adam\u0131 korkuyla hat\u0131rlayarak bir iki tur att\u0131ktan sonra Burmal\u0131 Cami\u2019nin \u00f6tesinden Meri\u00e7 Nehri\u2019nin \u00fczerindeki k\u00f6pr\u00fclere do\u011fru\u2026 \u201cEvlad\u0131m, avlunun d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmayacaks\u0131n demedim mi, ka\u00e7 kere s\u00f6yledim sana, \u00e7ocu\u011fum!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okulun arka avlusunda mermerden bir \u015fad\u0131rvan, \u00f6n avlusunda yosun kapl\u0131 bir havuz var. \u0130kisinin de i\u00e7i iri ye\u015fil kurba\u011falarla dolu. Bah\u00e7ede serbest\u00e7e hoplay\u0131p z\u0131playarak dola\u015f\u0131rlar, ak\u015famlar\u0131 ate\u015f b\u00f6ceklerinin \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda patlak g\u00f6zlerini y\u0131ld\u0131zlara \u00e7evirip topluca \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6ylerler. \u201c\u00c7ocu\u011fum, \u015fu kurba\u011falarla oynama, onlar\u0131 cebinde ta\u015f\u0131ma yavrum, evin i\u00e7ine sokma, isilik olaca\u011f\u0131z evlad\u0131m, her taraf\u0131m\u0131zda si\u011filler \u00e7\u0131kacak!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Evin i\u00e7i kitap dolu. Tavana kadar uzanan raflardan kimseye g\u00f6stermeden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m kitaplar\u0131 bana ait etajerde (ah\u015fap dolap) topluyorum. \u201cO kitab\u0131 i\u015faretleyelim, b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce okursun, olmaz m\u0131?\u201d (\u00c9mile Zola\u2019n\u0131n Hakikat<\/em>\u2019\u0131n\u0131 kastediyor!) Do\u011fan Karde\u015f<\/em> \u00e7ocuk mecmuas\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131yor, misafir odas\u0131n\u0131n penceresinden kay\u0131s\u0131 a\u011fac\u0131na, oradan kiraz a\u011fac\u0131na ge\u00e7erek firar ediyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u015eunu okuyal\u0131m bakal\u0131m, ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcneceksin?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Annemle a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki \u015fezlonglara uzan\u0131p Pearl S. Buck\u2019\u0131n romanlar\u0131n\u0131 okuyoruz. Olay \u00c7in\u2019de ge\u00e7iyor. Kan\u00e7ilarya sosyetesinin balolar\u0131nda prenslerle vals yapan zarif \u0130ngiliz Leydisi a\u00e7l\u0131ktan k\u0131r\u0131lan, hasta ve yoksul \u00c7inlilere \u00e7ok ac\u0131yor, onlara gizlice yard\u0131m ediyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Birka\u00e7 y\u0131l sonra Ankara\u2019da, \u00e7ocuklara terk edilmi\u015f, her yan\u0131n\u0131 ot b\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f geni\u015f arsalar\u2026 Goerig marka bisikletin fren teli kopmu\u015f, Maltepe\u2019den Nokta Dura\u011f\u0131\u2019na inen dik yoku\u015fun sonunda bir koyun s\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7ine dalm\u0131\u015f, Taksim Pastanesi\u2019nin duvar\u0131na \u00e7arp\u0131p par\u00e7alanarak ancak durabilmi\u015f. S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc kan revan i\u00e7inde. \u201cKoskoca adam oldun, art\u0131k sana bisiklet yok!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mahallenin \u00e7ocuk \u00e7etesi gizlice in\u015faat alanlar\u0131na girerek karpit \u00e7al\u0131yor. Su dolu bir \u00e7ukura at\u0131lan karpitler fokurdamaya ba\u015flay\u0131nca \u00e7ukurun \u00fczerine bir kuka (teneke kutu) konuluyor. Ate\u015fleme mekanizmas\u0131, b\u00fck\u00fclerek ucu tutu\u015fturulan bir gazete k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131. Badoom! M\u00fcthi\u015f bir infilak, kuka f\u00fcze gibi havaya u\u00e7uyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Netameli g\u00fcnler\u2026 27 May\u0131s Devrimi\u2019nin art\u00e7\u0131 sars\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 ya\u015fan\u0131yor: 22 \u015eubat ve 21 May\u0131s darbe te\u015febb\u00fcsleri. Havay\u0131 y\u0131rtarak al\u00e7aktan u\u00e7an F-104 jetlerinin egzoz bas\u0131nc\u0131yla salonun camlar\u0131 \u015fang\u0131r \u015fungur yerlerde\u2026 Uzakta makineli t\u00fcfek sesleri\u2026 Ihlamur kokular\u0131n\u0131n akasya kokular\u0131na kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 serin May\u0131s gecesinde K\u0131z\u0131lay\u2019dan y\u00fckselip b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015fehre dalga dalga yay\u0131lan \u015fanl\u0131 Harbiye Mar\u015f\u0131: \u201cKanla irfanla kurduuuk\u2026 \u00d6lmez nig\u00e2hban\u0131y\u0131z…\u201d Babam, \u201cBalkonlara yakla\u015fmay\u0131n!\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor. Annem, Harbiye \u00f6\u011frencilerine ac\u0131yor, \u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrecekler,\u201d diye a\u011fl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Arsada patlayan karpit bombalar\u0131 mahalleliyi tedirgin ediyor. \u201cY\u00fcre\u011fim a\u011fz\u0131ma geldi\u201d diye pencerelere ko\u015fuyor, darbe mi oluyor diye etrafa bak\u0131n\u0131yorlar. Sonunda bek\u00e7i, \u00e7ocuk \u00e7etesinin mensuplar\u0131n\u0131 su\u00e7 aletleriyle birlikte olay yerinde yakal\u0131yor. \u0130ki ciltlik \u0130htilaller ve Darbeler Tarihi<\/em>\u2019ni okumaya ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. G\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f ge\u00e7irmi\u015f, b\u00fcy\u00fck tecr\u00fcbeler edinmi\u015f \u00e7ete mensuplar\u0131 baz\u0131 geceler arsada ate\u015f yak\u0131p \u00e7evresinde toplan\u0131yor. Memleket meseleleri, darbeler ve ihtilaller konu\u015fuluyor. Renkli, s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z hayaller\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Benim transist\u00f6rl\u00fc (yass\u0131 pilli) radyom vard\u0131 (Dilek P\u0131nar\u0131 m\u00fczik program\u0131!); eve televizyon geldi\u011finde 18 ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131m; bilgisayar\u0131 kapat\u0131nca yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m metin kaybolur mu diye korktu\u011fumda ve internet kullanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda galiba 40\u2019l\u0131 ya\u015flar\u0131n sonundayd\u0131m; cep telefonunun istikbalini g\u00f6remedim, uzun s\u00fcre direndim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bizden \u00f6nceki ku\u015fak II. D\u00fcnya Sava\u015f\u0131\u2019n\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 etkiler, yoksunluklar, zorluklarla ya\u015fad\u0131; yurtseverlik duygular\u0131 giderek So\u011fuk Sava\u015f\u2019\u0131n propaganda mekanizmas\u0131yla bi\u00e7imlendi; \u201c\u0131s\u0131nmas\u0131n\u0131\u201d bekledikleri lambal\u0131 radyolar\u0131 vard\u0131; sinemaya ve tiyatroya merakl\u0131yd\u0131lar; internete, cep telefonuna ula\u015famad\u0131larsa da hayat standartlar\u0131 d\u00fczenli bi\u00e7imde her y\u0131l y\u00fckseldi, sobal\u0131 evlerden kaloriferli apartman dairelerine ge\u00e7tiler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ondan \u00f6nceki ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n neredeyse hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi yoktu. D\u00f6rt cephede sava\u015ft\u0131lar, Padi\u015fahl\u0131\u011f\u0131 tarihe g\u00f6merek Cumhuriyet\u2019i kurdular, b\u00fcy\u00fck Ayd\u0131nlanma devrimleri yapt\u0131lar; her aile \u015fehit berat\u0131 ve \u0130stiklal Madalyas\u0131\u2019yla \u00f6v\u00fcnd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Altm\u0131\u015fl\u0131 y\u0131llar bizim ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n R\u00f6nesans\u2019\u0131yd\u0131. K\u00fclt\u00fcrel etkileri azalarak 1980\u2019lere kadar s\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ayaklar\u0131m\u0131z biraz havadayd\u0131. Ate\u015fi \u00e7alan Prometheus gibi ba\u015flad\u0131k, balmumundan kanatlar\u0131 g\u00fcne\u015fe yakla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a eriyen \u0130karus gibi bitirdik. En b\u00fcy\u00fck hatam\u0131z kitaplar\u0131n, yani \u201cs\u00f6z\u201d\u00fcn, insanlar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirebilece\u011fini sanmakt\u0131. Asl\u0131nda bu yan\u0131lsama, insan varolu\u015funun tarihsel oldu\u011funu ve insan bilincinin maddi ko\u015fullar taraf\u0131ndan belirlendi\u011fini saptayan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce sistemimizle de biraz \u00e7eli\u015fiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gen\u00e7li\u011fimizde \u015fiddetin her t\u00fcrl\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fck. Fakat \u015fiddetin, b\u00fct\u00fcn kar\u015f\u0131t taraflar i\u00e7in mant\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve hedefleri vard\u0131; politikti. \u015eimdiki gen\u00e7ler gibi bilgisayar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda saatlerce sava\u015f oyunlar\u0131n\u0131n sanal \u00e2lemine g\u00f6m\u00fclerek modern silahlarla katliam yapmad\u0131k mesela. Silahlar sahici, \u00f6l\u00fcmler ger\u00e7ek, yolda\u015fl\u0131k ve d\u00fc\u015fmanl\u0131k duygular\u0131 \u00e7ok g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve \u015fiddetliydi. Hayvanlar\u0131 koruduk, do\u011fay\u0131 sevdik; onlar\u0131 \u00e7ok yak\u0131ndan tan\u0131ma f\u0131rsat\u0131m\u0131z oldu. Kar\u015f\u0131 cinse olan ergen yabanc\u0131la\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 onlu ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n sonuna do\u011fru a\u015ft\u0131k; diskote\u011fe gidip dans da ettik, mitingde slogan da att\u0131k, sokakta dayak da yedik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Telefonda nostalji yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m arkada\u015f\u0131ma dedim ki \u201cBiz d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fczel son zamanlar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131k.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo\u011fru,\u201d dedi, \u201cfakat fark\u0131na varmad\u0131k.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Telefonu kapat\u0131rken i\u00e7imden, \u201c\u015eimdi de galiba,\u201d diye ge\u00e7irdim, \u201cd\u00fcnyan\u0131n en k\u00f6t\u00fc ilk zamanlar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131yoruz.\u201d Y\u0131l\u0131n ilk g\u00fcn\u00fc kimseye y\u00fcksek sesle b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey s\u00f6yleyemem elbette. Fakat ger\u00e7ek \u015fu ki \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczde \u00e7ok dik, u\u00e7urumlu, sarp yoku\u015flar var.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2021 y\u0131l\u0131 herkese m\u00fccadele azmi getirsin, zihin a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 versin. Kutlu olsun! Veryans\u0131n<\/em>, 01.01.2021<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Yavuz Alogan \u00c7ocukluk arkada\u015f\u0131m telefonda nostaljik ses tonuyla anlat\u0131yordu. Camlar\u0131 toplard\u0131k, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bize telden yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir araba verirlerdi. \u00c7ember \u00e7evirerek nas\u0131l da ko\u015ftururduk. Bilyelerimiz vard\u0131\u2026 \u015eimdiki \u00e7ocuklar yakan top, saklamba\u00e7, sek sek bilmezler\u2026 Bunlar\u0131n hepsini elbette hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Fakat bende en \u00e7ok yer eden d\u00f6rt \u015fey var: Goerig marka k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bisikletim, iri ye\u015fil kurba\u011falar, kitaplar … <\/p>\n